Try to Remember the Night He Dismembered

Try to Remember the Night He Dismembered is the ninth episode of the third season on Wings, and the 37th episode overall in the series.

Synopsis[]

Brian begins to tell a dirty joke to Joe, Lowell, and Antonio until Fay approaches. Embarrassed, Brian say an unfunny (but clean) punchline instead of the lewd one. Disappointed, Fay says it was funnier the way she had heard it.

As a thick fog envelopes Nantucket, all flights are indiffeninently delayed. Antonio is giddy with the prospect of driving passengers back and forth from the airport and hotels all day. Brian and Lowell enter discussing dinosaurs. After Lowell tricks Brian with a hypothetical trick question and feels that he's outsmarted him, he trips some luggage. Meanwhile, at the lunch counter, Roy loudly suctions a piece of food from his teeth. At the ticket counter, Brian is excited to learn that all flights are indiffeninently and tries to leave but is stopped by Joe. Because Joe has reached his flight hour limit for the week, Brian has to take any flights they may leave later in the day. With everyone bored, Fay brings out her "Foggy Day Fun Box" much to the chagrin of all. While Helen, Lowell, Fay, and Roy play pictionary downstair, Joe, Brian, and Antonio fly their paper airplanes from the second floor balcony. Bored with the "Foggy Day Fun Box", Helen encourages Brian to do his hypnosis party trick. Brian first hypnotizes Joe and makes him cluck like a chicken when anyone says the word "tortilla". Brian next hypnotizes Lowell but are disgusted with when they try to learn his darkest secret and fondest memory. Finally, Brian hypnotizes Roy. After having Roy sing and dance to "Buttons and Bows", they ask about his darkest secret and are shock to discover that Roy stole $250,000. Still hypnotized, Roy explains that while eating at Olly Anderson's Little Taste of Oslo he dropped a meatball and saw a briefcase full of cash and took it. He then buried the briefcase in his backyard ("roughly six paces from the southwest corner of his house"), but was planning to dig it up tomorrow because his neighbors are getting nosey. When Brian wakes him up, Roy leaves saying he has a craving for Norwegian food. Since the fog isn't lifting, the airport is closed for the night. Everyone else decides they will dig up Roy's yard to retrieve and return the money.

The gang arrives at Roy's backyard and begins digging after arguing about what constitutes a stride. After hours of digging, Brian, Joe, and Antonio discuss the smelliest moments in history when they come across another dead car battery. They add it to the pile of dead car batteries, spray paint cans, varishes, and pesticides. Earlier when Lowell dropped the bag of marshmallows, he pick up some toadstools, ate them, and begin vividly hallucinating. While snooping, Helen discovers a hot tube with plans to install it "roughly six paces from the southwest corner of his house". Angry with Roy, the gang tries to come up with a plan to get Roy back.

Later that evening, Roy returns home and is pleased to find the hole dug and all the soil removed. The gang comes out of the bushes to confront Roy and say he tries to enter his home he is covered and trapped in an avalanche of soil.

Credits[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Cast[]

Tony Shalhoub as Antonio Scarpacci
Carey Eidel as Man

Quotes[]

Brian Hackett - "No, Lowell, I don't want to."
Lowell Mather - "Come on!"
Brian Hackett - "No, but it's utter fantasy. It's pure speculation."
Lowell Mather - "I'm just saying if Brian. I'm just saying if."
Brian Hackett - "Alright, alright. If the dinosaurs were alive today, yes, I believe a brontosaurus could eat you boat in one bite."
Lowell Mather - "Ha, ha! It was a trick question. Everyone know the brontosaurus was a plant eater. So, chew on that one college boy!"

Brian Hackett - "Alright, but you don't understand, see. There's this girl--"
Joe Hackett - "Tell me, why do all your stories start like that?"
Brian Hackett - "Well, the Brothers Grimm had "once upon a time", I have "there's this girl". Who do you think was happier at bedtime?"

Brian Hackett - "Tell us your deepest, most darkest secret."
Lowell Mather - "Once, when I was out of underwear--"
Everyone - "No!"
Helen Chapel - "Oh god, please, please. Ask him something else."
Brian Hackett - "Okay, okay, okay. Lowell, what is your fondest memory?"
Lowell Mather - "Once, when I was out of underwear--"

Helen Chapel - "Hey, Brian, since Roy was so anxious to hear everybody else's deepest and darkest secrets, let's find out his."
Fay Cochran - "Oh, no, please don't. I disgusted enough by what he admits!"

Roy Biggins - "Oh, I dropped a meatball and when I reached down, I found a briefcase full of cash. I can't believe what I did."
Joe Hackett - "Oh, don't tell me you ate the meatball."
Roy Biggins - "No. I kept the money."
Lowell Mather - "What happened to the meatball?"
Brian Hackett - "He became a mechanic at the airport."

Helen Chapel - "Roy, did you spend any of the $250,000?"
Roy Biggins - "Oh, I bought a couple of suits."
Antonio Scarpacci - "Okay, he's got all but $75 bucks."

Trivia[]

Tony Shalhoub appears in this episode; but he isn't listed yet as a main cast member in the opening credits.
This episode is currently unavailable for streaming in the United States likely due to the music rights for "Buttons And Bows" by Dinah Shore, which Roy sings while pretending to be hypnotized.